The BAR BANDIT struck again last night. Through trickery and deception she managed to get a pretty full salt shaker (you know the CORONA SALT SHAKERS), some straws, coffee stirrers, toothpicks, and mints in A's purse at the bar last nite. At one point, the bandit had 2 small shot glasses in her purse, but sadly A was not drunk enough yet and found them before she left. What a shame. No silverware this time though. Next time, man, next time!!!!

Have a happy week everyone!

I am wondering if anyone else out there feels the same as I do about the light sentences some people get for horrific crimes and the statute of limitations being so short to prosecute for some crimes.

I recently had a co-worker, we'll call him Pete, who got arrested for sexual assault on children. Mind you this is someone I had worked with for about 5 years and even socialized with occassionally outside of work. I had no idea. You know what they say, it's always the quiet ones, right? In this case it was true.

Anyway, apparently this man (I use the term loosely to describe him) had been at this for at least the past 25 years. He would befriend single mothers with young children, worm his way into their lives, build trust and then begin his abuse with these kids. He wasn't choosy, he would molest boys and girls. SICK BASTARD!!!!

Whatever hold he had on these children was strong, because the first time he was ever accused was in 2000, by someone he had molested more than 10 years earlier. Unfortunately, because the statute of limitations had already run out on this particular crime, he was never arrested. By this time he was already living here in Texas.

I don't understand, why they have such a short amount of time in which they can pursue charges against these animals. You would think that for a crime as heinous as this, there would be no statute of limitations. No wonder why there are so many repeat offenders out there. These bastards deliberately prey on the most vulnerable of our society, the ones who are too scared to speak up or out. They know they will keep their mouths shut, until it's too late.

This animal was finally stopped last year when he was arrested. He has been in jail for several months, while the police have continued their investigation into him. They were able to only charge him with counts for acts he commited against six children. Even though there were at least 6 other children (now young adults) who also came forward from here in the area. This didn't include the children from the previous case back in 2000 or the ones they found scattered all over the US and overseas (he was in the military).

Do you know this bastard decided to plead guilty (I suppose that is good, at least these victims didn't have to relive the horror of his crimes with him looking on in enjoyment.) and he got sentenced to a high amount of years, I don't remember the exact amount, but he only has to serve 40 years before he is eligible for parole. Forty years, that's it, while these children serve a lifetime!

My heart hurts for these children and all the pain they have had to go through and will most likely continue to go through. I pray that his being in prison will bring some kind of peace to their lives and allow them to bring some sort of closure in their lives.

To Pete, I hope you rot in prison. I hope that the same horrifc things you inflicted on each of these children are inflicted on you every day for the rest of your rotten misreable existence. Thank you for opening my eyes to see that what we see is not what we get, in all cases.

Here's a little something from the Washington Post that I found quite amusing. Hopefully, you will too.

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dope-ler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Smile!!!

A friend of mine shared these with me and I found them quite humorous, so I am passing them on to you.

NEW WORDS FOR 2006 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,strip malls, etc.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust.

Have a great week!

Sorry, I haven't written the past few days. I've been a little under the weather.

To the bitch at Target who had a whole cart full of groceries to my 1 box of kleenex and 1 carton of low fat no sugar ice cream, thanks for running me over, stomping on my head, and spitting on my open wounds to make sure that you got in line before I did. I hope the mole on your neck grows to be the size of a watermelon and that it has multiple hairs growing out of it. I pray that you will lose the ability to close your eyes, so that your eyeballs dry up and fall out of your ugly fat head. And most of all I hope that someone keyed your car in the parking lot!

Well, we started the Biggest Loser - Neighbor vs Neighbor today. Team T & A (that's me and my roommate) vs the girls across the street (who also happen to be very good friends of ours) Team T-n-T. You know how it is, we always talk about getting off our butts and losing some weight, but usually that is all it is. TALK.

This year we decided to put a plan in motion. We are going against each other for the next 10 months (might as well be 10 years if you ask me)to see who, as a team can lose the most weight. Our ending date is October 10, just a few days before we head off to Vegas for our annual girls trip. (Chippendales here I come!) The goal is to be sexy, hot babes. (Okay, I'd settle for just a lot thinner than I was for last year's trip.) The winning team's trip is paid for by the losing team. You want to talk about motivating. I want that trip paid for!!!!! We are going to kick their asses!!!!!! Although, according to T, she won't have an ass left to kick. We'll see about that. (Insert evil laugh here) They might start getting some interesting packages of goodies shipped to their house on a regular basis. (Secret Admirer, yeah?)

We had to weigh-in in front of each other tonight, and I am sure all you women will agree that sucks. It was pretty humerous though, because we got one of those scales that you have to input all this info on, so it took like an hour to weigh four people. One of the prerequisites of getting on the scale was your feet had to be damp, something about measuring your total body water. (I tried to get one of the T's to lick my feet, but it was a no go. ) I just wanna know how fat I am, who cares about my total body water.

Next, came the "BEFORE" pictures, which were quite hystercial. We were all trying to give our saddest looks, so IF we lose weight, in our "AFTER" pictures we can look even better. You know that's how they do it for all these diet pills and stuff. I am a little afraid that now T can black mail us all with these horrible pictures of ourselves. I might have to sneak over there one night and steal the pictures!

We are having some mini competitions in between and we are open to any suggestions that anyone has!!!!! So let me know if you have any suggestions of realistic competitions that we can have between the 4 of us. Ooh- and any mini prize suggestions you might have as well.

Have a happy week everyone!

Today I did one the coolest things that I think I have ever done. I volunteered for the USO Send Off for a group of soldiers heading off to Kuwait. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but it was one of the single most touching days I have had in a long time. Just when I think how much my life sucks etc. something or someone comes along and shows me how great my life really is. I am not having to leave my family and friends for months or years, to go to some hot, dusty desert and fight in a war that I may or may not believe in. It blew my mind to look at these men and women and realize that some of them may not make it back or that if they do their lives as they know it will never be the same because of the things they are about to experience. They all seemed so calm and collected. I wanted to just yell at them and ask them how they can be so calm when their lives are about to be turned upside down. If that was me about to leave, I would have probably pulled out every hair on my body, chewed every nail down to the quick and just in general have gone crazy.

These men and women are incredible. They kept thanking me for the bottles of water or the piece of candy that I was giving them and all I could think was, "Why are you thanking me? Why are you so appreciative of the small insignificant things that I take forgranted everday? You are getting ready to go to a place that I would never be able to survive in." All I could say was, "No, thank you for being willing to give of yourself to protect
me and my family here." And even that seemed so lacking in emotion.

Most of the men and women were there alone, but a few had their families there sending them off. One man and his little boy (also dressed in fatigues) were there, the little boy was probably 7 or 8. When we had gone around asking the men, women and families if they wanted any candy, this little boy had very matter of factly told us that he had just eaten and didn't need any candy. When we encouraged him to take something off the cart, he chose a toothbrush. A TOOTHBRUSH!!!! How mature for someone so young.

Later, as the men and women were boarding the plane to begin their journey, I looked over and saw this little boy looking up at his daddy and trying with all his might to hold it all together so his daddy wouldn't see him cry. His face all scrunched up and red. His daddy just looked at him, bent down and hugged him and proceeded to board the plane. Then this little, brave boy just cried silently to himself. If that had been me (now at the age I am today) I would have been wailing and gnashing my teeth, trying to follow him down the walkway and hold on to my daddy for dear life.

I was a little shy, this being my first experience, so I didn't get to talk to as many soldiers as I would have liked, but I know that I have found something that I really enjoy doing and that has meaning. I am excited to see what my next experience with these men and women will be like.

I hope you all have a great week and remember no matter how bad you think you have it, there is always some one out there who has it much worse than you!!!!

I know we all have them in our workplace. You know who I am talking about. Yes, I am talking about the crazy bathroom people. I am especially blessed to have two (that I have caught) in my office.

Now, I don't know about you, but I avoid at all costs using the bathrooms at work for a variety of reasons, germs, smells etc. On occasion though I find that I must relieve myself after having drank a 2 liter of Diet Dr. Pepper.

Recently , I walked in the bathroom and I found that all the stalls were taken. So I waited patiently for some one to exit a stall.....tick-tock, tick-tock......riiiiip (the sound of toilet paper being ripped from the roll) riiiiip.....riiiiiip, riiiip, riiiiip, riiiiip. I hear this sound coming numerous time from the handicap stall. I am thinking, I might have to hold it a bit longer if they need that much paper. I am preparing myself for the smell that is sure to follow all that ripping. Riiip, riiiip, riiiip, riiiip. No smell. Ok, I think maybe they just need to blow there nose. All of a sudden I see the toilet paper appearing in all the cracks in between the door and the wall, the next stall and the door, from the ceiling to the top of the stall etc. I am not joking! By the time I left the bathroom a couple of minutes later, there was not one place where you could see into that stall. All you could see was toilet paper. What kind of crazy people do we allow to work with us? I swear that she used a whole roll (industrial roll at that) to block herself in that stall. I really wanted to stay around and see who that was, but alas the boss was calling me back to my desk.

If that weren't strange enough, a couple of days later, I, again find that I must use the facilities at work. This time it was the end of the day. I walked in and saw that only one stall was occupied and took my proper position (you must always leave an empty stall between yourself and the other bathroom occupant, duh!). I am taking care of business when all of a sudden I hear what appears to be someone snoring. I think to myself, maybe I am hearing things. Then I hear it again, louder. I stand in the stall and kinda giggle to myself. OMG someone is sleeping in here. No way! Again the snore. This time even louder. I am really laughing to myself now. I assumed that as soon as I flush the toilet, she'll wake up. So I proceed to do so. After the noice dies down, I listen. There it is again. This woman is full on asleep in this bathroom stall! I stood there for a moment debating with myself. Do I knock on the stall door? THUD!!!! I look down and I see that this woman has fallen off of the toilet seat onto her knees, (pants up you pervs). This, of course wakes her up, so I fled the scene immediately!!!! I am sure she didn't want her identity know anymore than I wanted mine.

I know we all have this people in our office. Don't deny it , write about it.

Have a great day!